the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
