god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
