It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
