My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Your cock deserves a montage
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
