Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
