I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
