So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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