I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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