Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
