They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just had sex bonerless
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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