nut hugger
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i barfeds in our rink
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize