It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
