Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize