you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
