i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
