stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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