Sacagawea was the original milf.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
