There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
These tits shall not be calmed
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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