Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You're a waste of cheezeits
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
