just come out here and I will go home with you...
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm bleeding and have questions
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
