In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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