So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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