I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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