stop calling my apartment porn island.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
