Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
