Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
