when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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