ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
