we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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