I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
