Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize