I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize