you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
