Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
