Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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