The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
