I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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