So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
