Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize