He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
