I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
