I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
