i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
im holly from the hills drunk
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
