I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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