Her vagina should come with caution tape.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
