Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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