He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
