Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Mom said you looked used
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize