i would punch a child for taco bell
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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