The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
