it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
