ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Quick, to the slutcave!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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