you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
