If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
