Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
