why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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