yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
