Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
