so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
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