Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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