Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
