Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Randomize
