Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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