Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
In other news, I just burned my penis
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
