just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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