# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
