your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I didn't notice because vodka
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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