Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
